"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer..." Lots of mini adventures lately. I love those the best. They seem so unimportant but seem to make up the most random memories.
I felt super blah last night. I was watching a movie, having an awesome time lounging and then I got really sad. I realized again that my son is dead. I will never see him celebrate so many milestones that so many others take for granted. First smile, laugh, tooth lost, graduation, first love, marriage, grandchildren...a whole life that existed for such a short time inside me. :(
Then...today me, my sis and my cousin took my niece to the park. I almost cried as she ran around in circles. She was so happy to be there. Swings, slides, sand and steps completed her world at that moment. She even stopped to give me a little hug before we went down the slide. Despite everything that I felt the night before it was all erased when she gave me that crinkly eyed smile. Her happiness is pure. I love it. And I love her.
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