take a sad song and make it better...

so it's been three weeks since me and ty broke up. :( sad still but i found that i have actually been at home and somewhat there. i realized that i used ty as an escape from responsibilities and facing the truth. i have to get myself out of the situation that i'm in now. by myself. i can't go relying on someone else again.

i need a car!!!

an apt!!

independence.

i'm 25 now and i want to come and go as i please. if i want to go out on a tuesday night. why not? it's my own responsibility to get to work on time and take care of what needs to be done the next day. i just miss leaving when i want and going to places that i want.

don't get me wrong i love my family and all the time i spend with them. it's just different now.

so in other news i've just been working a lot. i try to hang out with my friends as much as i can. i've started hanging out with girls!! yeah...non-drama kind.

i'm working on my costume right now. i've got some things lined up for this halloween weekend extravaganza...party at my sister's friday...hotel valley ho halloween gala on saturday night then...maybe vegas for the actual halloween night...who knows. its just an outline. could happen or not...we'll see.

here are some pics. i gotta get back to work. :>

me carrying tables at my cousin's bday


me and my mama


my sis kristen, her bf matt and thier son mason.


julian's new shoes!!


Ashley and me before a night on the town.


my cousin auggie's pumpkin...spooky


my lil sister's cupcake tower cake


carving pumpkins


me and ashley at PCL (pussy cat lounge)


me all cheese


me and ty at his bday bash at suede


ty in the backyard...love those bbqs


ty on camelback mtn.

head in the clouds...

so finally a post...it has been too long.

I've just gotten caught up in a ton of drama and "semi-relationship". I'm not sure what it is. it looks like and feels like a relationship but i guess a part of me always knew that there was something missing. a reason i held myself at a distance. and sad to say that my heart hurts right now. the one thing i tried to keep so safe and well guarded and somehow someone snuck past and made a charade of it. they made things feel like once again it could feel so easy and be nice. i should of knew that it was too good to be true.

i'm not really sure what to think right now...i'm going to go to sleep. maybe it'll make sense in the morning.